


It's Only Up From Here

by haworthiaattenuata



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Time, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:11:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haworthiaattenuata/pseuds/haworthiaattenuata
Summary: Sirius decides to stay at Hogwarts during the Easter break to avoid his family. Unfortunately, that means he doesn't get to see his friends for a month either. Lucky for him that Remus decides there's a better way to spend vacation than being alone.





	It's Only Up From Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kca1516](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kca1516/gifts).



The rain outside wasn’t particularly bad, but it was enough to keep the remaining students inside. It wasn’t even a nice rain – the trees and flowers didn’t seem any lusher, but the sky sure was gray and dismal. Sirius observed the weather from his seat inside the Gryffindor common room, perched on the small nook in front of a paned-glass window. He had wrapped a blanket around himself and tried to read the book he’d been recommended by James but simply couldn’t focus on any of the words. He’d read the same paragraph several times over before shutting the book with frustration. Boredom had his eyes heavy and his mouth watering. The day before he’d been with his friends, and now they were all away. Today was the first day of the month-long Easter break, and James, Peter, and Remus had all gone home. Of course, Sirius could have gone home too, but being alone for a month was preferable to anything that went on in his house. He knew his friends all had their own familial struggles, but he did envy the luxury of a supporting home filled with people who did things like support each other and not threaten disownment. Sirius sighed and rested his forehead against the window. He thought about the day before when the four of them had trekked down to Hogsmeade together. James had excitedly spoken to Peter about the things he hoped to do at home, Peter completely glued to the words and laughing at every joke. Sirius had listened for a while, but by the time they reached the Hog’s Head Pub he’d just tuned out and focused more on his butterbeer.

The rest of the outing was uneventful. The four of them had stopped by several boutiques but mostly just chatted. Sirius stayed quiet for the trip, occasionally laughing at a joke when prompted or answering little questions directed his way. He noticed James eyeing him in the last shop they stopped by but didn’t say anything. He knew that he probably seemed rude, but he simply didn’t want to discuss it. Nothing against James – Sirius just needed to handle this on his own.

Evidently, Remus hadn’t seemed to notice or care that Sirius just wanted to be alone.

While they were walking back to Hogwarts, he’d fallen back from James and Peter to walk next to Sirius. Sirius had played it cool. “Hey, what’s going on? Need anything?” Sirius gave Remus a smile while he spoke, hoping he’d just move back to James and Peter.

            “No, I’m alright.” Remus began. “You’ve just seemed kind of out of it. Usually you love the macarons at Madam Puddifoot’s, but you hardly noticed we were even there. Something up?”

Sirius let out a breath. He _really_ didn’t see any reason to open up. Remus was his best friend, but he didn’t need to deal with any of Sirius’s moping. He had enough to worry about.

            “Oh, what? I just have a bit of a…stomachache from the butterbeer. I’m good. Really, I’m fine.”

Sirius hoped it’d be enough to convince him. It probably wouldn’t be, but maybe Remus would get the hint that Sirius just _didn’t want to talk._ To his relief, it worked. Remus smiled back and patted Sirius on his shoulder, lingering for just a moment before taking his hand away. “Well, if that’s the case, I’ll leave you alone. Sorry to hear you don’t feel good.”

To Sirius’s surprise, Remus didn’t join Peter and James. He walked next to him, in silence, all the way back to school. 

            Still rainy, still lonely. Sirius had completely abandoned any hope of getting any more reading done and had resigned himself to just sitting and staring out at the rain. The warmth of the air combined with the cool drizzle led to a dramatic layer of fog rolling over the lake, and he watched as it grew close to the edge of the water before dissipating. The only things he could hear were the flecks of rain pelting the window and roof, the occasional crackle from the fire, and the _very_ rare footstep in the hall; most likely one belonging to a staff member or particularly brave poltergeist. He had just started to drift off when the door to the common room opened, catching Sirius off guard. He jolted as the door moved, and sat up to see who was coming in.

To his surprise, Remus entered.

Sirius couldn’t find any words for a moment, just staring. Remus smiled and opened his arms. “Hello? Are you here, Sirius?”

“You – I – I thought you already left?” Sirius said, his mouth stuttering around the words in surprise.

Remus smiled and shook his head. “I decided to stay here over break. I already sent an owl to my parents, so it’s no big deal.”  
Sirius felt his heart beating faster. He swung his legs off the ledge and removed the blanket from its place around him. He stood and walked over to the entrance while Remus came in the room further, closing the door behind him.

“I don’t understand, weren’t you going to go to Cardiff? You told me yesterday, your grandparents would be having everyone over,” The simultaneous confusion and elation was a lot to handle, and Sirius couldn’t wrap his head around why Remus was here. He couldn’t stop himself from talking. “Ar – aren’t you…won’t they miss you? Why are you…what…” Sirius shut up when Remus embraced him, hugging him tightly.

            “They’ll survive. I’d rather be here.” Remus said, pulling back and picking up the suitcase he’d dropped at the door. “Wanna help me unpack?” 

            Inside the dormitory, Remus sat on his bed and unlocked his bag. He started pulling out neatly-folded clothes and setting them beside him in stacks. Sirius sat across on his own bed, the surprise of somebody else – especially Remus – having subsided somewhat. Sirius still couldn’t help himself from all the thoughts that raced through his head. _Did something happen? No, no, he said that he just wanted to stay. He’d tell me. But…would he? Does he know something I don’t? Maybe he’s telling the truth…he said he’d rather be here. What does he mean by that? Does he mean, like, locationally? It’s nice here, but so is Cardiff…did he mean me? That he wanted to be here with_ me _?_

            That last thought was a little too much, and Sirius quickly dismissed it. _There’s no way. I mean, we’re friends…we’re_ best _friends, but wouldn’t James and Peter also have stayed if he’d wanted to be with his friends? He doesn’t know about…he doesn’t know that I’m…_

Sirius again shook the thoughts from his mind. He was being silly, and he should just trust what Remus was telling him. There was no reason to get so worked up over something that would never happen. He looked away from the window he’d been absentmindedly staring out of to see Remus smiling at him. “You know, I don’t know why you’re overthinking this so much,” Remus said lightheartedly, “I wanted to stay here with my friend – who would’ve been all alone otherwise – and you look like I’ve come to kill you or something!” Remus laughed a little at his own words, Sirius snorting a little. “I know holidays are hard for you. I thought it’d be nice if you had someone to spend them with. Yesterday you seemed really down, and I _know_ you’ve never gotten a stomachache from just one butterbeer. You’re an awful liar.”

Upon hearing that, Sirius felt his heart beat even _harder_. “I…you knew? Like, you knew it wasn’t just that?” He asked, sitting forward without thinking.

“Of course I knew! You hardly said a word! James was even worried, and he can be denser than a fudge fly.”

Sirius did laugh at that. His anxiety surrounding the situation was easing a little, even if his palms were still sweaty. Remus finished taking all his clothes out and crouched next to his dresser, starting to sort them into their respective drawers. Sirius sat down next to him and took a pile to help with.

“Well I…I really appreciate it. Maybe once you’re settled in again we can visit Loch Alsh. It probably won’t be crowded – everyone’s bound to be with family. Well, I guess except us.” Sirius said, handing Remus a pair of pants. Remus laughed. “I wouldn’t say that. I mean, we’re still together. We’re like family, you know? The four of us. We’re always gonna be together.”

For Remus it was so casual, but Sirius felt his heart ache and his face blush. He’d never had anything as stable or certain as this, and he wondered if Remus also felt the heaviness in the air that seemed suffocating. Sirius focused on the socks he had started to pair as he spoke.

“That’s…I hope so. I really hope so.” Sirius didn’t raise his head or move his eyes. He folded another pair. “It really means a lot.” Another pair in the pile. The conversation came to an end, and the air felt heavy to Sirius. The things he wanted to say but couldn’t made the atmosphere thick, the room as stifling and humid as the spring air outside.

Remus broke the silence. “Hey, Sirius?” Sirius looked over, making a quiet “…hm?” noise as he did. He was completely caught off guard. Remus’s face was so close. His breath was warm, his cheeks were red. Sirius made eye contact and felt his chest tighten. The palms of his hands were buzzing with anxiety. They stayed like that for what felt like a full minute until Remis again broke the moment. He leaned forward, brushing his hand against Sirius’s, and kissed Sirius softly. In shock, Sirius’s eyes stayed open. When Remus pulled back, he was even redder. “I…um…I hope that’s okay. I understand if you don’t—”

Before Remus could speak too much, Sirius moved. He kissed Remus again, embracing him this time and pulling him closer. This time wasn’t as short, but Sirius still pulled away relatively soon. Neither of them spoke for a moment until Sirius giggled softly, saying “Well, I guess you did know, after all.” Remus laughed, covering his mouth with his hand. “To be fair, I hadn’t been observing much, I just sort of…went for it. Hanging out with James has made me gutsier after all!” Sirius laughed harder and interlaced his fingers with Remus’s.

“Remus…I’ve wanted that for so, so long. It’s been weighing on my mind a lot because I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same. I thought you…I thought you had a crush on that sixth year…what’s her name? Mar…Mary? Meara?” Remus laughed, his shoulders bouncing in Sirius’s embrace.

“Mairead? She’s cute, yeah. You don’t even remember her name? How many other Mairead’s could you possibly know?”  
They laughed together, with Sirius moving his hand down to rest on Remus’s upper thigh. “She’s not you, though.” Remus said, catching Sirius completely off-guard. “I’ve been…into you since our third year.”

Sirius had daydreamed of confessing to Remus for _years_ and was still blown away by this new variable. It was like a dream come true.

“God, Remus, I’ve – it’s been the same for me. I’ve always wanted you. I really thought that you were never interested.” Sirius said, his chest and stomach feeling light and bubbly as if saying the words out loud took a real weight off of him. Remus smiled and leaned in once again, pressing his lips against Sirius’s cheek. After a moment, Remus spoke. “That’s because you’re a dumbass.”

When Sirius laughed, Remus pushed the two of them backwards, down onto the floor. He moved up and straddled Sirius’s hips, kissing Sirius hard. He kept one hand pressing on Sirius’s shoulder, but used the other to hold the back of his head. They continued kissing, mostly closed at first but soon Sirius opened the front of his mouth very slightly and was delighted when Remus pressed the start of his tongue against the entrance. They didn’t use much tongue, but Sirius reveled in the sound Remus made when he bit down on his bottom lip lightly, leaving only the smallest indentations.

“Do you mind if we get up? We can use my bed.” Sirius whispered between kisses, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Remus’s waist. Remus nodded and crawled backward, scooting himself back enough to stand up and sit on Sirius’s bed, laying down and opening his arms up for Sirius. When Sirius got onto the bed, he again took his position on top of Remus, pressing his hips down. They made nervous eye contact when Remus felt Sirius’s dick pressing against him through the corduroy pants he was wearing. “Is this alright?” Sirius asked, his voice quiet and low. Remus nodded, placing his hands on Sirius’s hips and pulling forward ever so slightly. Sirius leaned forward, smiling, and kissed Remus once more before reaching down and fumbling with the buckle on his belt for a moment. While his hands were busy, Remus piped up. “Um, we can do this, but I don’t think I want to go…um…all the way. At least, not yet.”

Sirius smiled and looked into Remus’s eyes as he pulled his belt through the loops and set it on the floor beside the bed. “No worries, Moony. It took us three years to even get here, I think we can wait a little longer.” Sirius kissed Remus softly before returning to his pants, undoing the button and zipper. “If you never wanted to, that’d be fine too. I’m happy to just…be with you.”

Despite the nervousness Remus felt at that moment, hearing such _romantic_ words from Sirius made his stomach jump and his heart beat quicker. He smiled and lifted his hips, taking his own belt out of the loops and beginning on his button. When he tried to shimmy his pants down his thighs, Sirius moved off him to take off his corduroys and tee-shirt. Remus hadn’t even gotten his shirt off before Sirius was on top of him again, pushing down with his hips, his dick still covered by his underwear. Sirius pushed the bottom of Remus’s shirt up further, keeping him pinned down. “Keep my shirt on?” Remus said, lifting his hips to meet Sirius, his own hardness now obvious.

“Don’t worry about it, you look really cute like this.” Sirius grinned while he spoke, leaning down and kissing Remus between his pecs, pulling down the waistband on his underwear. When Remus made a soft sighing noise, Sirius pulled his own underwear off completely too. He took his right hand and wrapped it around his dick, stroking it a few times before taking Remus’s as well, the sudden heat a relief. Both Sirius and Remus let out little sighs, Remus’s slightly more vocal. Sirius began a slow motion back and forth, letting the simple friction between each other do most of the work. As he jerked them off, he leaned forward again and positioned himself right above Remus, using his left hand to hold him up. He observed the boy beneath him – the way his eyes would occasionally flutter shut, the way he softly bit the corner of his cheek with his pointy canines, the quiet little huffs of air he released through his partially-opened mouth. Even with the overwhelming lust he felt, he also felt a deep tenderness for Remus. His beauty was truly something to behold. Without hesitating, Sirius kissed Remus on the upper cheek near a small scar – undoubtedly from one of their misadventures during the full moon.

When Sirius flicked his wrist a little faster and gripped their dicks a little harder, Remus shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, a little whine making its way out from him. “God, fuck, Remus…” Sirius was cutoff by Remus suddenly sitting up a little and kissing him firmly and passionately. Sirius was taken aback a little and stopped his motions, reaching both hands up to cup Remus’s cheeks as he kissed him deeper. Remus made a little noise of objection, pulling away.

“Don’t stop! C’mon, please, don’t stop!” Remus said, giggling a breathy little laugh. Sirius smiled and kissed Remus a little softer, saying between kisses, “How…can…I do…anything el – anything else…when you’re so…fucking…cute?”

Remus shook his head, still laughing a little. “Fine, I can do it myself!” He maintained their kisses as he reached down and took their dicks in his hand, holding them firmly and stroking much quicker than Sirius had. Now it was Sirius’s turn to moan – his kisses stilling for a moment as he did. “C’mon, that isn’t – that can’t be fair!” He huffed as he moved his hips up slightly, getting a better angle against Remus. Remus didn’t reply besides gripping even _harder_ , biting the Sirius’s bottom lip a little harder than expected.

Sirius whimpered and grinded down, pushing his dick up into Remus’s closed fist. The sensation was new, but the bubbling tension in his lower stomach was not. It only took Remus hoarsely whispering, “Come on, Padfoot, I know you want to cum.” for that tension to be released like a snapping rubber band.

Sirius came, _hard_. It felt like it had come out of nowhere, surprising him and making him gasp and whimper. He’d never came this fast before. Remus kept jerking his hand, the sensation quickly becoming too much. “Aah…fuck…oh my God…” Sirius whispered, trying to pull back from Remus. “Moo – Moony, it’s too much, ah…”

Remus came then too, his body shuddering forward a little, hunching over their dicks. Sirius leaned down and kissed Remus through it, enjoying the little breaths of hot air that Remus let out of his nose. Sirius still felt pretty over-stimulated, but Remus released his hand quickly enough that it wasn’t a problem. They sat there for a moment, both breathing heavily and sometimes sighing. Once he regained some composure, Sirius kissed Remus on his temple, entwining their fingers. Remus, still panting a little, made eye contact with Sirius and smiled. “Was that okay?” Sirius huffed a little laugh and nodded.

“Yeah, that was…that was pretty good.” He responded. Remus scoffed and smacked Sirius on his upper arm. “Only ‘pretty good’? Wow, that’s cold. Real cold, Padfoot. What should I have done, fed you grapes as you reclined on the pillows?”

Sirius laughed at that, his shoulders bouncing a little. He took Remus in a bearhug, holding him close even as Remus wiggled a little – “It’s sticky, Sirius, c’mon!”  
            Sirius shook his head. “We can clean up soon, just let it…just let us have this.” Remus stopped fussing so much at that. He wrapped his own arms around Sirius and nuzzled into his neck a little.

“Thank you.” Sirius whispered, pressing his head against Remus’s. “Not just for this. I’m so glad you stayed.”  
            Sirius could hear the smile in Remus’s voice as he spoke. “I’m glad I stayed too. So far, this has been the best Easter holiday so far.”

“Well, it’s only up from here, Moony.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I wrote this for one of my best friends on her birthday (sorry for being 5 months late). She has her own account on here - her username is Kca1516!  
> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
